archive: the saga of kfe

anniversary 1999
anniversary 1998
poem: saga


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I really had no idea
What pains in the asses people could be,
Until Sandra said "Help me, Dear--
Answer the shit people send KFE."

Poor Sandra gets an ass kick
Every single, gosh darned day,
From folks who pick and pick,
But have nothing much to say.

They don't know what it takes
To run this like she does.
To separate the truth from fakes,
While experiencing a Tylenol buzz.

So I post my messages on the board,
Do what I can to help this gal.
Maybe I'll tie Adele with cord,
And then A&E will be my pal.

Either way, I'll keep coming,
Each and every party night.
Because KFE keeps me humming
Though I fear Sandra0598's bite.

And because Frank's an inspiration,
He doesn't demand tit for tat.
But I would drown in perspiration
If Corinne ever hit me like that.

And Leon helps show the way.
At the door for hours he'll sit.
And he still finds time for fun and play,
I wonder if he ever takes a shit?

Let's not forget Madame K
Who swings a big, mean oar,
Who's hobby is making people pay--
With their ass--not at the door.

Then, of course, there's Greg.
Our friend, tried and true.
Don't leave him tied up in the rain,
Lest his balls get shriveled and blue.

Bill K. will not stop running,
Nor swinging his spanking stick.
For he is always gunning
For a girl to suck his---lollipop.

And we all love our Tom,
Though we're not sure we know him.
'Cause when he puts that hood on,
Nobody tries to snow him.

And Bill has given me a bunch
With his genitals afire.
He taught me to treasure a woman's punch
And underpants made of barbed wire.

Speaking of "barb"--

Barb and Bill, a lovely sight,
Friends I would not trade.
At Halloween they had a fight
Over who's the prettier maid.

Diane gives me the eye and winks it,
Then makes coffee by the glass.
But she never, ever drinks it,
Instead shoves it up her ass.

Let's not forget The Mick,
Our lives he does enrich.
As Gabrielle said with a cane flick,
"He's such a sexy switch!"

And if you want to go to spank class,
Talk to Paul and Monique.
He'll show you on her nice ass,
They're a couple quite unique.

And it goes without saying
About Donna, Pam and Steve,
Once these folks start playing,
You can't get them to leave.

Connie, Steph and Rob
Always make such a fuss.
'Cause whacking butts is such a job,
We're glad they play with us.

And Alan, Charlie, Jeff and Jim,
We're all in this together.
We all love B.D.S. & M.
And play in any weather.

To be fair, there is Jim Solstice,
Who hopes you'll smile and say:
He's the host with the mostest,
But always looking for a lady to flay.

There are so many I could name
Who made me happy in these halls.
And KFE's rules I can't blame,
Even though I go home with swollen balls.

Thank you pals, one and all
For what you gave this year.
Now please have fun, yes, have a ball,
And face the camera without fear.

Now I would like to propose a toast
To our little group, my friend.
'Cause I am here to smile and boast

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